Embracing JOMO

It is a human tendency to compare our life with that of others. We often envy those who are successful or admired. I remember going to a new restaurant on Saturday, where I saw a bunch of teenagers – some with their parents and the rest with their friends. As they were dining, I observed a lot of phones flashing with notifications. Upon checking them, there were a lot of happy faces and some not so happy faces. A couple of them were so indulged in their screens; they didn’t notice they were dining.

Teens and adults text while driving(!), because for them, the probability of a social connection is more vital than their own life (and of others). They interrupt one call to answer another, they check their social media handles while being with family because something more exciting or entertaining just might be happening. Awareness of activities or events around them or on social media becomes important, affecting the experience of the moment.

We have heard them arguing that they perceive this not as an interruption but a connection. But it is not a “connection” either. Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) has become so prominent that even when we’ve decided to disconnect, we still connect just once more, to make sure. FOMO is increased and extensive anxiety about missing out on social events or experiences that others are perceived to be having. More so, FOMO leads to a compulsive and addictive association to stay connected with other people’s lives online, ruining our precious time. Students from high-school and colleges have claimed to be suffering from FOMO the most. They are always comparing their skills and knowledge with that of others. They want to do what the other member of the group does, just to be “noticed” by others. They forget about their potential, and eventually, lose their originality. Remember that you do not have to participate in everything that your friends do. Reducing peer pressure will make you find your potential, which in turn will help you prosper.

Experts define FOMO as “A social anxiety stemmed from the belief that others might be having fun while the person experiencing the anxiety is not present. It is characterized by a desire to stay continually connected with what others are doing.” Psychological dependence on social media creates opportunities for FOMO and is claimed to harm well-being and long-term goals.

Some common signs that you are suffering from FOMO:

• You say YES to everything.
• You cannot take your eyes off your phone.
• You click pictures of everything.
• You have trouble sleeping.

You cannot sleep at night, so you toss and turn with the phone in your hand, scrolling through the endless stories of your friends having fun out somewhere. Due to this, your restlessness continues to grow, and you experience changes in your emotions. You feel empty, excluded, weird, uncomfortable, anxious, stressed, and a lot more. Identifying the psychology of FOMO is quite tricky, but it is continuously becoming necessary because of its devastating effects on people’s psychological well-being.

How to lessen FOMO in your life?

Admit you have FOMO. To fix a problem or a foul habit, acknowledging helps you solve efficiently. Talk to your dear ones, and you might start feeling better. Learn to say no to what your heart doesn’t agree with.

Take a break from social media. Social media can be fun but taken to an extreme level, makes FOMO even worse. You only get trapped in what others do, and you might also want to do the same. Shun this trap. Start spending more time with your family and friends (in real), talk to them, play games, watch movies and read a lot of books because it is believed to be the most precious and beautiful time of your life.

Change FOMO to JOMO (joy of missing out). Introducing the idea of JOMO to your life can be considered as a powerful concept. Rather than being sad about missing something, take JOY of what you are doing and what you have. Enjoy your own company, for giving time to yourself will only make you grow and achieve anything you desire in life. Remind yourself that you are choosing the best for you. Only you get to choose what is right for you and suits you. Do not allow unnecessary decisions or feelings (by others) to hamper you.

 “You deserve a joy that is uniquely, profoundly, and humanly your own.”

— CHRISTINA CROOK

Practice Mindfulness & live in the moment. Being mindful helps you appreciate things and live in the present. Accept your surroundings willingly and make an active decision to enjoy the people and stuff around you. Have a habit of maintaining a gratitude journal and practising gratefulness.  Meditation adds an ample amount of joy to your life. Do yoga and meditate for an hour every day, which will keep you calm, focused, and determined.

Know yourself and your priorities. You are less likely to compare yourself to others when you know what is valuable to you. You will be having your bucket list and goals to work on.

When you start to focus on life-enhancing experiences, you will remember the lessons you did have throughout your life rather than having feelings of regret. And in the end, you will love this journey of your life.

It is upon us how we treat this FEAR… Forget Everything And  Run or Forget Everything And Rise and Embrace JOMO.

Jayati Purohit Member since June 15, 2020

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Jayati is a final year Psychology student at University of Mumbai. She intends to pursue Clinical Psychology and Performance Coaching to work with people from all walks of life. She is a practicing Numerologist. Other than this, Jayati is either found with books, binge-watching thriller TV shows or movies. She also likes to curate Psychology based articles.

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