Independence: The capability of sustaining oneself without having to rely or depend on others. Before moving further, a question must first be answered. What is independence? Does the definition mentioned earlier encompass all that there is to know about independence? Or is it more than that? I’d like to think there is.
Independence, to me, is the fact of being one’s own self in every true sense of the word.
Often when one hears the word independent, their mind might immediately associate it with earning their own money, having their own house and living a life that they have made for themselves. While it is true that financial independence is what covers a vast majority of being an independent self, there are other aspects to look at and strive towards with regards to being self sufficient.
When it comes down to it, emotional independence is what I personally feel is a very important character trait to acquire, especially in today’s generation. First off, it is important to note that emotional support and emotional dependence are two different things. Expressing one’s emotions and feelings to those with whom they feel comfortable and providing the same support to others is a very healthy and encouraging thing to do. However, relating someone’s happiness to a particular person or a thing can often lead to them feeling a sense of inadequacy or insecurity within themselves. Moreover, they can develop a low self esteem or enter a potentially unhealthy relationship. So in order to be emotionally independent, one needs to take things little by little. The first would be to start being comfortable with one’s own mind and body. Unfortunately, self love is always always always easier said than done. The key is to remember that you’re not alone.
One of the main reasons why emotional independence is so hard to practice is due to the fear of being alone with one’s own thoughts or the fear of not being in control. Personally, once I started being more honest and comfortable with myself whenever I was alone, I slowly started becoming more and more emotionally self reliant. I realized that I’m stronger than I think I am. Once personal confrontation seems like less of a struggle, it is quite important to pay attention to other relationships that surround us.
As humans, we are after all sociable species that need empathy and support from one another. It is easy to get lost in the haze of validation and the need to be liked by someone and become dependent on them. But this can prove detrimental to both parties involved and also heavily strain their relationship. Even if one is under the impression that they cannot completely function or are incomplete without the other person, it will lead to a level of dependency which will prove to be toxic, no matter which end the person stands on. The harsh truth is that if it is not possible to help that person without having to risk damaging one’s own happiness, then it is better to cut that relationship off altogether.
Although it may seem like enabling someone to be emotionally dependent on you is the morally right thing to do, it could possibly bring up feelings of guilt or loathing, rather than empathy and care for the other. Hence, even though the intentions are good, the end result could be more detrimental. Self introspection and taking responsibility are two important things to take into consideration. I personally think it is also important to constantly remind oneself that they are enough. That their mistakes don’t define or confine them. No matter how many times they need to be reminded, it is better to keep repeating it to bring about reassurance rather than look for that kind of approval from others. Ultimately, emotional independence should be normalized and practiced in daily life for autonomous happiness and overall freedom.
Independence is something that can be very simple and trivial yet hold the power to make someone gain self confidence and have a better self image. When facing a problem, instead of immediately going to someone else for advice or help, trying to first figure the problem out and coming up with possible solutions for it would be a good habit to inculcate. Even the smallest possible things like finishing a small task on your own or going to places (safe places) that you never went by yourself before can not only help in freeing yourself from self imposed restraints but also make you realize how interesting you are as a person
The final topic of discussion would be about financial independence and as it is something that I have personally not experienced yet, I am not knowledgeable enough to talk about it. Having said that, it is something that I do look forward to being in the future. To those who feel afraid of becoming financially self sufficient, I think that if they overcome that fear, there will come a point where they can live a life they wish to live by making financially smart and able decisions along with being content with their own confident self (even though those two are not mutually exclusive). That, according to me is independence. Although I admit that it doesn’t really count as a definition.
Disclaimer: All the suggestions and statements made in this article have been written from personal experience and/or from other information online. I am in no way claiming to be an expert when it comes to emotional stability or mental health. My intention is only to encourage and help anyone who might be going through something. Thank you.
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