“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.”- Ann Landers
In recent times our lives are so fast-paced that we are just not left with time for anything. We are so busy with our careers, lives that our social life gets badly affected. We get time to message sometime through various social media but don’t have the time to meet him/her person personally. We are changing drastically. For this reason, our relationship suffers a lot which creates a barrier between two people. Some accept the change bravely some take years to come out of their past relations.
It happens to you slowly as you grow. You discover more about whom you are and what you want out of life, and then you realize there are deliberate changes you need to make to keep up with the changes happening around you and within you.
The lifestyle you’ve been living no longer fits. The specific people and routines you’ve known forever no longer align with your values. So you cherish all the memories, but find yourself letting go and moving on.
If you’re currently dealing with this process you may feel a bit awkward, and that’s OK. This feeling is normal. I’ve been right there with you on more occasions than I can count.
Reasons to Let Go and Move On
- Someone’s negativity is rubbing off on you
- You have grown apart from someone
- You are truly unhappy with your current circumstances
- Your goals and needs have changed
- Fear is holding you back
- You catch yourself living in the past
- An old grudge is still hurting you.
- You aren’t learning anything new.
One Small Example of Letting Go
We had been in school since class 1. We were together for at least 12 years in school then after that though we went to different colleges we were in touch. Regular interactions happened between us. When I was doing my masters I started missing him as we both were busy with our lives. That is when we realized that we both have fallen for each other. He was also missing me.
One day suddenly he popped the question; I was like flying in the sky. I had tears of joy that finally found the right soul mate after some failed relations. Everything was going good for 1.5 years. Then he started some requests to be physical with him. I said it’s normal for a guy to feel so. Why not fulfil his requests..!!This way some time passed but he only came to me when he wanted to be physical but when I needed him emotionally he was never there.
The relation was indeed getting emotionally abusive for me. A lot of things were coming into my mind. I was going through a rough professional phase at the time and I got to know that my boyfriend is cheating on me and he has started dating his colleague even continuing the relationship with me.
My world was shattered and I felt suicidal. Days were okay but nights were unbearable. I didn’t sleep for nights. I felt miserable. I had no friends to support me during this phase. One day I felt now its time to let go of whatever happened and move ahead in life. He was a jerk and didn’t give me importance then why I sit and waste my life for him. That was the beginning of the end of our story as friends. Years later, our relationship is now a mere shadow of what it was and my life is honestly far brighter for it. Letting my friend go wasn’t easy, but it was necessary for my own well-being and growth.
Ways to Let Go and Move On
Holding on is like believing that there’s only a past; letting go and moving on is knowing in your heart that there’s a bright future ahead. Let’s take a look at eight ways to design the latter.
- Accept the truth and be thankful– To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and helped you learn and grow. It’s the acceptance of everything you have, everything you once had, and the possibilities that lie ahead. It’s all about finding the strength to embrace life’s changes, to trust your intuition, to learn as you go, to realize that every experience has value, and to continue taking positive steps forward.
- Distance yourself for a while – Sometimes you need to take several steps back in order to gain clarity on a situation. The best way to do this is to simply take a break and explore something else for a while. Why? So you can return to where you started and see things with a new set of eyes. And the people there may see you differently too. Returning where you started is entirely different from never leaving.
- Focus only on what can be changed– Realize that not everything in life is meant to be modified or perfectly understood. Live, let go, learn what you can and don’t waste energy worrying about the things you can’t change. Focus exclusively on what you can change, and if you can’t change something you don’t like, change the way you think about it. Review your options and then re-frame what you don’t like into a starting point for achieving something better.
- Claim ownership and full control of your life– No one else is responsible for you. You are in full control of your life so long as you claim it and own it. Through the grapevine, you may have learned that you should blame your parents, your teachers, your mentors, the education system, the government, etc., but never to blame yourself. Right? It’s never, ever your fault… WRONG! It’s always your fault, because if you want to change, if you want to let go and move on with your life, you’re the only person who can make it happen.
- Focus inward– It’s important to make a difference in the world. Yes, it’s important to help people, but you have to start with yourself. If you’re looking outside yourself to find where you fit in or how you can create an impact, stop and look inside yourself instead. Review who you already are, the lifestyle you’re currently living, and what makes you feel alive. Then nurture these things and make positive adjustments until your current life can no longer contain them, forcing you to grow and move beyond your current circumstances.
- Change the people around you– Some people come into your life just to strengthen you, so you can move on without them. They are supposed to be part of your memory, not your destiny. The bottom line is that when you have to start compromising your happiness and your potential for the people around you, it’s time to change the people around you. It’s time to join local meet-ups, attend conferences, network online, and find a more supportive tribe.
- Take a chance– When life sets you up with a challenge, there’s a reason for it; it’s meant to test your courage and willingness to make a change and take a chance on something new. There’s no point in denying that things are different now, or being fearful of the next step. The challenge will not wait even if you hesitate. Life only moves in one direction – forward. This challenge is your chance to let go of the old and make way for the new. Your destiny awaits your decision.
- Focus on today– You can decide right now that negative experiences from your past will not predict your future. Figure out what the next positive step is, no matter how small or difficult, and take it. Ultimately, the only thing you can ever really do is to keep moving forward. Take that leap without hesitation, without looking back. Simply forget the past, look straight ahead and forge toward the future.