How to Identify a Toxic Person

When you read a title such as this, the first person that comes to your mind is someone who you dislike. Someone you know isn’t good for you and most of your attempts to protect your self emotionally and psychologically sometimes feel as if they have gone in vain. In this article, I want to share with you some insights which will help you in your struggles and battles where you will feel more equipped to deal with the situation at hand.

Identifying a toxic person in your life

So a very good way to know and identify a toxic person in your life is to think about the following three points –

When the person who you are close to doesn’t approve of something you do – and this happens quite often – you feel extremely disheartened and bad – and though you are an adult now – they keep disapproving of the things you do and the way you do them. This happens either daily or weekly.
They keep denying you things, even something you feel you need – may it be an honest communication, hearing you out, kindness, care, help when you feel unsupported – they deny it – not outrightly but they would either try to minimize what you are feeling or then give an excuse as to why they can’t be there for you.
Even if you have told them repeatedly you don’t like something they continue with that behaviour and are unwilling to compromise even if it is morally or legally wrong or hazardous to your mental, emotional and physical health.

Checklist of all the possible things a toxic person expresses themselves that make you feel bad.

Many times the other person may say they care a lot for you and love you however their actions have proved otherwise. They may not outrightly say something to you but their non-verbal gestures can convey a lot! So here’s a list of things that someone might do that does affect us and bothers us.

Just a look in the eye.
An indirect comment which you know was targeted at you, sabotaging a plan.
Saying something but their actions are the opposite.
Saying they are doing it for your good but not even taking the effort to know you as a person and what truly would be good for you.
If you try to vocalise what you feel and think they will say you are overreacting and getting too emotional.
Saying something hurtful then masking it by saying they are just joking and that you can’t take a joke – but in your defence – a joke is where you laugh together with someone, not some someone laughs AT you.
Even when you tell them you don’t like something they will coax you into doing it and try and encroach on personal boundaries and say – can’t you even do that much for them or show you how it’s something that you SHOULD do.
You may have done seven things that are far more important and crucial and good but they will never appreciate that genuinely, but if they even do one thing they willExpect you to praise and appreciate them so much.
They may not give you eye contact when you want to talk to them and keep getting distracted when your trying to share something important.
The tone of voice.
Particular facial expressions or making faces.
Inappropriate responses to the situation.
Say they value virtues like honesty, kindness and helpfulness but their actions are the opposite.
Say they want to help you and be there for you but when you need them they give an excuse and are never there.
Others force kindness on you or go out of their way to help only to demand favours later from you or to tell others how much they helped you and earn accolades for themselves.
They will make you feel guilty when you try to do something that they don’t approve of – either by comparing their own experiences with you or then some other ingenious way to make you doubt your self.
In today’s age – they could send you a forward or post something on social media that you know it’s aimed at you and you just don’t know how to even react to it cause their intentions get disguised when you try to tell others of their tricks – they try to prove you wrong by saying -Such a small thing – why are you making such a big deal and tell you what according to them is a big deal.
However, sometimes it’s the small things that count – the everyday things.