“As you grow older, you’ll find that you enjoy talking to strangers far more than to your friends.” -Joy Williams
I understand that you all might think, what the devil is this girl talking about? What good can come from talking to a stranger, right? Our parents have taught us that we are not supposed to talk to strangers, since we were a wee kid.
“Stick with the people you know, stick with the people who are like you”; “It’s the people that know you, oblige you”, these are the only things that we have listened or been taught. But did you ever realized that the people we know, like our classmates, our teachers, our colleagues, our relatives, every one of them was a stranger at one point in time. Then with time, we grow closer to some of them and some other became memories.
It was necessary then, and we needed our parents to teach us about the ways of life. But as we grow, believe it or not, there do exist benefits of talking to a stranger. If anything, talking to a stranger is a good thing.
I had a great experience talking to a stranger once. I was out of school and was looking forward to make some new friends. So, I started to someone who is not my classmate or even someone I would know through some kind of relation. He was someone I didn’t even knew existed until last year. Leaving all the details, he now is my best friend in the whole world.
I understand it’s not the same for everyone, but what’s the life without little fun and risk, right?
Sometimes, people have a hard time talking to people they know. They lack confidence because of the fear of being judged. Maybe talking to a stranger is a way for them to make up for this missing quality in their relationships. It can relieve stress by so much. Strangers don’t judge because they don’t know the real us. But somehow, they just help. They don’t expect something in return and they just let us be who we want to be with them.
It may be uneasy for many of us to approach a stranger and start a conversation, because we don’t know what their intentions are. Believe me, I get the chills too, all the time. And because of this, we isolate ourselves in our own little world, withing our small circle of friends and family. Therefore, we miss out on opportunities to meet new, exciting people.
Strangers hold the explanations to all kinds of knowledge that we want. They help us understand more about other people and how we relate to each other. They unlock cultural misunderstandings and they help us gain social skills and communication skills which are essential components of understanding.
Talking to strangers mean that we meet more people who are “Not Like Us”. It is like inviting someone to challenge our belief systems. It is risky and thrilling as we try to come out of our comfort zone. We don’t know what they’ll think or how they’ll respond to us and that can make us uncomfortable. This might lead us to look at situations differently than we’re used to. They could say something that tells just how wrong we are about a truth we hold dear. They can change our perspective.
Meeting strangers have long lasting health benefits.
Researcher Eric Kim, have deliberated some pretty obvious benefits of talking to a stranger. Kim suggests that, “The cardiac prosperity he documented may come through people checking in on one another and noticing health problems, sharing health – related information, sharing resources and “eyes on the street” – sociologist Jane Jacobs’ famous sociological principle that people protect people”.
Humans are genetically social animals, who are made happier and healthier when connected to others. There is a correlation between happiness and talking to Strangers. The New York Times explains that, “The great thing about strangers is that we tend to put on our happy faces when we meet them, reserving our crankier side for the people we know and love. Then this own forced pleasant behavior automatically erases the bad mood”.
“People feel more connected when they talk to strangers, like the are part of something bigger”, says Gillian Sandstorm, a psychologist and senior lecturer in the Department of Psychology at the University of Essex, England. In research studies, Dr. Sandstorm has revealed that, “People’s moods improve after they have a conversation with a Starbucks barista or a volunteer at the Tate Modern art museum in London”. It gives a sense of control, because we can choose whether to talk or not, and how much information we disclose.
In another research study, researchers Nicholas Epley and Juliana Schroeder, University of Chicago, found that commuter train and bus passengers who talked to nearby strangers found their travel more enjoyable than those who didn’t.
Another study found that some people are able to predict their pleasure of engaging in random conversations. This study observed people taking taxis leaving from an airport. Some participants were asked to engage in a conversation with the driver and some other to enjoy the solitude. It was found that those who had a conversation with the driver enjoyed the ride more than those who did not.
In a second study, participants those who routinely engage in conversations with the driver acknowledged that they enjoyed the ride more when they talk, than when they don’t. People who rarely talked with the driver could not recognize whether they would enjoy their ride more if they talked with the driver.
Sherry Belul, an author and life coach in San Francisco, decided to cheer herself up on her 48th birthday a few years ago, by writing 48 letters to 48 strangers in 48 hours. She asked her friends and family members if they knew someone who was grieving, lonely or depressed. Then she wrote each of those people an anonymous love letter. Ms. Belul says, “I didn’t know anything about these strangers. But I felt so much compassion and love”.
So, you see, just smiling and conversing to a stranger sometimes help in coming out of loneliness and depression. It can bring enjoyment and happiness in our lives. And as we all know, happiness at mind and at heart brings good health physically and hence confirming our well – being.
I am a stranger to you and you all are a stranger to me. But we are all here for the same cause, i.e. to help people gain wisdom of well – being. This is a little bond that we share. You get the point. Not every stranger is dangerous.
If you think about it, strangers are kind. They can make us laugh, when all we want to do is cry. Therefore, I would like to end this post with a poem by Brian Bilston.
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