Therapy - My Route To Emotional Wellness

It feels incredibly comforting to have someone intently listening to you. The stigma around mental health had turned our dearest friends into “my human diary” or “my unpaid therapist”. Fortunately, the narrative around mental health has significantly changed since, well, 5 years (for me).

The year 2020 has been the most dynamic honestly, everything changed! Mental health received unprecedented attention. Social media kept brimming with content, normalizing anxiety, depression, personality disorders, seeking the assistance of a counsellor, and lots more.

In December 2019 (the worst year) I stooped so low emotionally, it wrecked everything for me. I lost friends; trust issues cropped up; self-worth, self-respect, self-esteem maintained their social & emotional distance from me; no morals, no principles, and unending hypocrisy. I hurt everyone around me, in turn, hurt myself, even more, to win them back later.

I confided in my closest friends for days about the horrible incidents, but, the despondency kept growing, which irked my friends a lot. They did, however, hear me out giving the advice, they knew I wouldn’t ever take (because we always do that, don’t we?) how many times do we act upon the helpful bits of advice from our dear ones? It was time, I decided to seek therapy, a life-changing event indeed. A therapist is a right choice for mental health issues, as is a general physician for low BP.

One thing I must mention is that therapy is tremendously challenging. Why? Because it involves “systematically putting in mental efforts to bring about changes in behaviour” which is tough for most of us because we hardly cared to keep a check on ourselves in the first place. We are the generation of let-me-lie-and- avoid-my-closest-friends-coz-I-hate-conflicts, those friends who have always been there, know me so well, see me through all ups and downs.

My therapist helped me detect the root causes of what events in life, people lead me to be as heartless & inconsiderate as I was in December. She assigned tons of activities compelling me to dig out the deepest unresolved issues. I was doing it religiously, it’s like a psychological excavation. I was very uncomfortable, (if you are, then that’s a sign of progress) with some of my desires, fantasies, dreams, opinions, principles, perspectives. She guided me through issues, asked me fundamental questions about them. I started feeling so good, gradually I started accepting my flaws. I do still go back to overthinking, towards the self-destructive me, but I rise each time, happier & prouder.

I am super punctual when it comes to therapy sessions, the fact that someone listens, guides you, helping you become a better person. Feels like you’re rejuvenated. Therapy becomes addictive, just like anything that makes you feel light! My sessions are still going on, each session is refreshing. I have learned to deal with people well. Losing friends, seeing them happy has been difficult for me but through therapy, my perspectives are changing for good. Being comfortable with uncertain behaviour/events has made life much easier. Letting people dislike me/ hold grudges has been exceedingly torturous, but I sense more peace accepting the hatred and loving myself regardless.

But the fear of ending therapy sessions hovers, at times. I knew that I am making progress but had to let go of the side wheels of my bike, peddle with all my energy alone, maintain a good balance. People are going to disappoint you, your expectations are going to let you down but you must get up, brush off the dust, own up to your mistakes, and move forward. My therapist will always be there, she will attend to me if required.

The moment you prioritize your physical and emotional well-being, life seems much easier & fun too! We may just end finding a wise Shah Rukh Khan type therapist for our perplexed Alia Bhatt!