“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” – Oprah Winfrey
On her first day at a new school, a girl forgets to carry her lunch box along. She could not even call home because she knew that her mother was a working woman and would not be able to come. So, she sat quietly during the break when two girls came and asked her to join them. She was relieved since she could not stay hungry till the late afternoon, and a new story developed among the three. She expressed her thankfulness, again and again, towards them, and this essence made everyone happy. Here, the desire to help and appreciation, in return, became a source of happiness.
But now, reality differs to a great extent. Today, we are aware of the fact that somewhere, life is better than what we deserve. The world is full of hardships, regrets, and disappointments. It is easy for people to call someone ungrateful if they are unable to think of a great many things, they are thankful for in their lives, but we do know, life isn’t easy for everyone. We all come across such circumstances that often leave us indignant and hardened. We want control of our world, but when we lose that power, which does happen at some point, we totally lose the ability to see things more fairly and forget to be thankful for the things that are with us.
But what exactly does thankfulness mean?
Living with a grateful heart is one of the simplest and the best ways of articulating the art of thankfulness. By being thankful, we modify ourselves into the art that reflects all the beauty around and inside us. It is an art that we express to other people by coloring our communication. Gratitude, if defined as “thankfulness,” and when we see further, being thankful means appreciation. Thankfulness encourages us to appreciate offerings and to pay them forward.
Being thankful or grateful does not have to be hard at all. It is not supposed to be an activity you are enforcing into your lives because you see people talk about it. Being thankful is something that will automatically come to you as you go through significant trials in life and come out on the opposite side. Thankfulness is acknowledging reality, and gratitude is an appreciation of the act of thankfulness.
How to practice thankfulness?
It could be several things- random acts of kindness, sending cards, exchanging smiles, being grateful for what you are at present, and who you are with. Thank people you meet regularly and appreciate your family, friends, and well-wishers who have contributed a lot- just for you and made your life beautiful in many different ways. You have been through a lot of tribulations, overcame obstacles, and, most importantly, learned how to handle problems in better ways. Your experiences have helped you rise and stand after every fall. So be immensely thankful to yourself.
Many times, we forget to give our thanks to the people who helped us. We should remember that giving thanks makes people happier, strengthens relationships, improves health, reduces stress. Professor Martin Seligman, one of the forerunners of Positive Psychology, often discussed Authentic happiness. He emphasized that “Happiness is the experience of genuine pleasance which is unique to each individual’s corresponding living circumstances, personality, use of virtues and characteristics, etc.”
According to Dr. Robert Emmons, the feeling of gratitude has two stages (2003):
- Acknowledging goodness in one’s life.
- Recognize that some of the sources of goodness lie outside the self.
The modern psychological perspectives based on the research by Emmons and the proven benefits are as follows:
- Opens doors to deeper relationships- The study has found that appreciating a new acquaintance makes them seek a deeper connection. Not only a new person, but also interpersonal relationships are strengthened. People who do this more often are more likely to forgive others and form a healthier bond.
- Enhanced happiness- Thankfulness can be said to have an inverse relation with depression, and thus there is an increase in positivity. Furthermore, expressing thanks improves your general sense of well-being, and you become more agreeable and open.
- Enhanced empathy and reduction in aggression- Grateful people, in a social event, are more likely to behave prosocially even if other people are less kind. Empathy is experienced towards other people rather than being aggressive towards their behavior.
- Improved physical and mental health– The feeling of appreciation helps to have a healthier mind along with a healthier body. According to research, people who have gratitude journals showed improvement in sleep cycles and better moods. Gratitude also has a more significant impact on athletes. The athletes who are grateful in their lives and appreciate others are content and tend to have higher self-esteem.
Applying it to our lives
From this very day, before you go to sleep, think of those small things or events that made you and your loved one’s smile, and spare a moment to thank them. Consider having a gratitude journal as well. Before getting out of bed, frame the beginning of the day and consider the few things you are grateful for. For those fighting with depression and anxiety, this might prove to be extremely helpful and positive. If you have children, teach them the power and importance of thankfulness in life. I often recommend family-friends-peers to include gratitude in their vision board.
One of the many great things about thankfulness is simplicity and positivity. The simple practice of it lets you concentrate on the brighter side of life.
Life will never be perfect as long as we live on this earth, and it will never go the way we plan, but there are always blessings on every walk and every battle. It all depends on your experiences and how you have bounced back from them, grateful for where you are now from where you were yesterday. That in itself is practicing and shaping the culture of thankfulness.
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