Until two years back, I wasn’t even aware that a term like self-care exists. I always thought care is a human’s emotional reaction and action towards another human. One word that I relate to care is – concern. All my life I’ve been called “the mother of the group” by my friends and “second mom” by my sibling. These phrases were tagged to me because of my “caring nature”.
At University, we were taught the importance of self-care, after which there was no turning back. I started prioritizing my mental health over anything else. I initially felt guilty about taking care of myself, but being a mental health professional myself, I learnt the hard way that I cannot be there for my clients or my loved ones if I’m not doing well myself. And to be okay, I need to take care of myself.
My professor once told me, “you can’t be there for everyone everytime”, and that stuck with me. Now, while I take care of others, I first take care of myself. I’ve associated the word love to care all my life; hence my self-care journey began with self-love. I started embracing my imperfections to accept myself. Having faced body shaming, the first step for me was to accept myself and love myself by simply ‘caring’ about me and not what others say. I took care of myself by not being too hard on me but rather by pampering me. I identified what I like and made it a point to do that more often.
A simple task that helped me the most was to make my happy list – a list of thirty things that make me happy. This list is handy, and I try to do at least one task from this list each day. The task can be as small as making my bed or hugging a family member or something more effortful like working on my fitness. Another primary self-care technique for me is to log off social media now and then. A friend and I call this our ‘social media detox’. I also practice meditation occasionally. I’m working on making meditation a regular habit as it keeps me calm.
In addition to my happy list, significant learning for me was to set boundaries. While setting boundaries between my personal and professional life and setting boundaries between me and others, I learnt to say no. I learnt to listen to my mind and body.
To practice self-care, one can indulge in their hobbies. Some hobbies include social service, playing a sport, doing or watching stand-up comedy, fitness, among many others. Furthermore, other self-care techniques could be journaling, taking naps, cleaning a space, your favourite ice-cream binge, meditating, setting boundaries, going out for a coffee or simply Netflix & chill.
Self-care is different for each person. In the end, it boils down to how healthy (mentally & physically) an individual is. To be healthy, we’re required to take care of our bodies and do what we enjoy. Some might spend more time in the office when taking care of themselves, while others might take a break from work; self-care is very subjective. As a psychologist, I would conclude by saying an individual needs to deliberately take care of themselves to maintain optimum well-being. Asking for help and for someone to take care of you is also self-care!
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Show comments Hide commentsWow! It is very well written and definitely helpful. I have personally tried few techniques of self care that are mentioned above and it has worked wonders for me. Sometimes we really need to appreciate ourselves in order to be there for others. I think this is going to be extremely helpful for others especially when most of us are struggling daily to manage our mental health during these unprecedented times.