It is very human nature to compare ourselves with others. According to psychologist Leon Festinger, who in 1954 proposed the theory of social comparison, comparing ourselves to others is an innate human tendency and humans tend to determine their social standing and their worth through making comparisons with others in our surroundings. People make comparisons in terms of a lot of things, be it money, health, fitness, house, romantic partner, college degree and the list goes on and on.
Though every person makes comparison, however for teenagers comparing themselves to their peers becomes a part of identity formation. They compare themselves to their peers and evaluate their beliefs, ideologies, abilities. Teenagers particularly make comparisons in areas of perceived physical attractiveness, popularity, in terms of academic grades and sports and co-curricular activities achievement. Though social comparisons inspire and motivate teenagers, however in majority of cases, these social comparisons have more negative than positive consequences. In a study done by Stanford University, researchers found that teenagers who indulged in a lot of social comparisons experienced more jealousy, envy, defensiveness and guilt.
Comparisons can have adverse effects on our mental and emotional health. Some of these include:
Lower self esteem: In many cases, social media exemplifies the effects of comparison as people on social media curate a perfect picture of themselves. When teenagers compare themselves to those picture perfect Instagram influencers or celebrities, a lot of them just couldn’t stop pondering how amazing their life is! How perfect figure she has! Omg! Her face is so pimple free! Wow, he has the best shoes. Then, they start comparing their lives to these picture perfect curated figures, which ultimately leads to disappointment and frustration regarding why don’t they have these things, why can’t I have a perfect life like them. All this leads to a lower self esteem and questioning regarding self-worth.
Affects happiness levels: A lot of times, when teenagers scroll through social media, they start making comparisons, which leads to feeling inadequate, a general dissatisfaction with one’s current lifestyle and oneself. All this leads them to experience more negative emotions and affects their happiness levels. In a study done by Positive psychologist Sonya Lyubomirsky, found that teenagers who frequently did social comparisons had lower score on happiness scale.
However, we can limit the effects of comparison by following these very simple tips:-
- Gratitude: Try making a gratitude journal, or simply make it a habit to be grateful for just 1 thing in a day. These practices will help you to stop making negative comparisons and help you feel more happy and satisfied with your own life.
- Focus on your strengths: Each one of us, have a strength, a talent, be it cooking delicious cookies or being an empathetic listener. Focus on building these strengths up and trust me, you’ll definitely feel more confident of yourself.
- Accept and embrace your imperfections: Always remember that no body is perfect, even that perfect figure girl or that handsome hunk have some flaws and insecurities. As humans each of us have some limits, imperfections and weaknesses.
- Appreciate others and get inspired: It’s very common for us to start comparing and start feeling jealous or envious. But maybe perhaps we need to change our approach, instead of feeling negative emotions, start appreciating that person’s talents and strengths, get inspired and motivated by them, ask them for tips and maybe perhaps even you’ll be able to develop those amazing skills.
In this lockdown, with so much time in our hands, I know most of us are simply scrolling through our social media feed. And it’s irresistible to not compare yourself, when you see those amazing dishes, or that beautiful artwork in someone’s story. However we can try to appreciate them and limit our social media time.
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