Life is what happens to us – right here and right now. It is not something that is waiting for you somewhere else. The earlier you know how to take care of your life, the better.
Here are the 5 simplest learnings of my life. These gems taught me (or are still teaching me) the importance of living my precious life in the most beautiful way. These tried and tested pointers are the ones I consider as the lifelines of everyday living.
1. Trust your instincts
I was very reluctant to put forward my opinions and outlooks towards any scenario, even when I had the gut feeling that my thoughts are in perfect alignment. I still remember the day when one of my favourite teachers in college asked me, ‘Remya, why are you so afraid to present your point of view?’
But then again, even though I realized the importance of what he had said, my mind was reluctant to change the status quo. Years went by and I had to face many tough situations; the thought behind me not doing anything about it created a huge uproar in my mind. But slowly over these years, I started trusting my instincts. It was a long process but I’m on it each and every day.
We have so much noise and chatter in our head that we forget to trust our instincts/ gut feelings. Gut feelings are nothing but a combination of our emotion and logic with respect to very specific scenarios. If we do not listen to our instincts constantly, it can lead to anxiety and depression. Some of the simple steps to cultivate the habit of trusting your instincts are:
- Start recollecting and writing about the instances when your gut feeling was right, but you did nothing about it in that situation.
- Practice the habit of journaling the situations you were in and how you can better yourself if they repeat.
- Get out of your comfort zone by challenging yourself. This can be as simple as learning a new skill. This eventually builds self-confidence and boosts self-esteem.
- Use various occasions (appropriate) to put forward your point of view and make it a habit.
2. Self-respect over everything else
There was a time in my life where I used to put too much effort to please people in my circle. It was very difficult for me to say NO to them. This habit had the power of making me feel sorry about what I had done to myself. It took time for me to realize the value of taking care of myself; taking care of my self-respect. Now I can proudly say that ‘for me, self-respect over anything else in life’.
The feeling of not valuing yourself can make you look and feel like a loser. Trust me, I have experienced it. These tiny tips have the power to change your outlook:
- Never wait for anyone to appreciate you/ thank you. For any job well done by you, the first person to appreciate/ thank you must be YOU.
- Never try to please anyone or go looking for approvals.
- Get rid of the thought that you must be the centre of attention everywhere.
- Try to look at the long-term impact of any situation/ scenario (it may seem difficult in the beginning but once you are onto it, it can create wonders). Think before you act!
- You cannot change people, but you can change the way you look at people/ scenarios. Get a control over your reactions and emotions.
3. Persistence takes you places; laziness takes you nowhere
I consider this as one of the golden rules of my life. It is all in the tiny steps that we can live every day without lethargy. For example, so many of us skip exercising for a day and fall completely off the track. It shouldn’t work like that. Finding out reasons to justify your carelessness/ laziness is not a very wise act. Remember, by this you are only hurting yourself.
Powerful persistence practice pointers that you can build in your life are:
- Understand your motivation/ destination.
- Be well aware of the current scenario, expected outcome and the journey to be taken to reach there.
- Do take necessary steps to pursue your ambition – EVERY SINGLE TIME. Create/ grab opportunities.
- Be positive by imagining the end result. Make sure you have a strict timeline to follow.
- Come out of your comfort zone by reminding yourself about your target.
4. The most prized possessions in life are experiences and memories
It is an art to create everlasting memories and experiences for yourself and your loved ones. These stir positive emotions. I strongly believe that the happiest people are always the givers and not the receivers. It’s a double joy to be the giver.
Some of the tips to rediscover yourself in this department are:
- Try to create a positive environment around you every day. Try to appreciate others, help others.
- Value your relationships. Never take them for granted. Create instances to give them positive experiences.
- Enjoy every moment of life – both tiny and huge.
- Wear a smile, always – that in itself is an experience.
- Cherish memories and learn from them in order to move forward.
5. Panicking and complaining has the ability to kill the real you
These are endless loops and it is very hard to get rid of them. I was one of the victims of panicking and complaining and it was difficult to overcome them (I’m still persistently trying). I used to get extremely panicked in situations where my mind had to work excessively; and eventually used to choose the flight mode over the fight mode. Also, with respect to complaining, I never complain to any third person, it was (and is) my partner who had to hear it out. Now I’m deliberately trying to avoid using these two negative attitudes.
The best tricks I learnt are:
- Remember, nothing in this world is in your control except your thoughts and actions. So have a check on that every time you start getting into these loops.
- Panicking and complaining never brings out the best in you. You lose control over you thinking and you lose logic. Instead, think how you can improve the situation and do your best.
- Have positive self-affirmations when you are faced with challenges.
- Identify your fears by self-evaluation and your response to circumstances.
- Manage stress by exercising, practicing yoga, engaging in physical activities, pursuing hobbies, etc.
These five lessons are something that cross my mind thousands of times every day, and I am sure of this for most of you as well. Yet we find it difficult to pursue them and turn them into habits. Let us make this TINYCHANGE and embrace our wonderful lives.