Survivor

There’s a lump in my breast

And it hurts when I touch it

I experience needle-stabbing pains 

And diaphragmatic breathing gives no relief

I lie awake at night 

With negative thoughts gnawing my mind

Deep inside my heart

I struggle to answer my own question

And the answer is deliberately vague…

I still do not believe in fate.

My life is changing

Each hour brings a new challenge

Some days are uplifting

But my smile is always missing

I am struggling in my battle with pain

The see-saws between hope and fear

I am just tired of despair

In the corner of that room

I sit in my rocking chair

And I think about my future.

I am living one day after another

I have some unfulfilled dreams in my heart

Cancer does not define me

But chemotherapy seems never ending

It makes me feel feeble

It causes severe body aches

My hands shake all the time

And my heart sinks into my chest

I embrace the rosary in my bag

As I have not lost my faith in God.

Daffodils are blooming in my garden,

At this time of the year

The countryside is so lush and green

I can see a butterfly with one wing

Leaning against the wall

But the butterfly doesn’t give up…

And this is when the feeling sinks in

I am ready to fight another battle

Tears rolling down my cheeks

I give myself a smile.

I am comfortable flaunting my bald head

And I welcome a new day in life

When negativity surrounds me

I keep my spirits high

And when I am in pain

I find reasons to stay happy

I don’t feel beautiful anymore

People do not notice me as well

But I am fighting breast cancer

And I will be a survivor.