Much like me, many of you must have grown up in a nuclear family, as a single child of your working parents, in a metropolitan, where people do not have enough time to peacefully take a sip of their morning tea. You must have missed out on how children from small towns or rural areas spend their childhood running in the grounds, playing in the mud, climbing old trees and exploring all that is not taught in the four-walled classrooms. Although, you would have lived an opulent juvenescence with a bountiful supply of toys, among the posh family friends that you had, you might have been omitted from the privilege of watching the nature closely during the innocent days of your life.
My intention is not to foist the concept of ‘Ideal Childhood’ on you, but only to bring out the essence of being brought up little diversely in this fast paced world. Honestly speaking, I was given the liberty to make a choice regarding my clothing, food habits and such other things. Yet the choices that i made were also restricted in nature, which was again to make sure that I learn to value things. But what i never realised back then was that, my parents were steadily and unceasingly working hard only to make sure that I am provided with a better quality of life. Perhaps, at that age, I was unable to comprehend such complex situations and all I had wished for, was their company. Surprisingly, though years have passed and they have grown older, even today they tirelessly make efforts only to make my life easier. Now, I understand that parenting is quite a task, whereas my mother argues parenting to be life’s best opportunity.
Whether our parents are authoritative, authoritarian or permissive depends on how they were brought up and to what extent they would like to bring a change to it. We cannot blame them in the real sense, but we can always find out ways to help them modify their parenting styles, if it does not suit us. Also, being brought up in a upper- middle class Bengali family, I was involuntarily expected to do well in my academics and excel in all other co-curricular activities. At a very young age, we might be introduced to many such activities which our parents want us to indulge ourselves into. These might not make much sense to us in the long run, since your interests need to develop instrinsincally. With this highly advanced lifestyle and in the above mentioned conditions, you might have your grandparents or trusted employees of your parents as your primary caretaker.
As days pass by, you realise that you do not have anyone to speak your heart out to, you lack the basic affection that any young soul would crave for. That is when you wish to make good friends or you wish for a sibling or at least a pet. If you’re exposed to none in this given period of time, you might get prone to a difficult adolescence. This extremely sensitive transition between childhood and adulthood can bother you greatly, while it reveals to you the concept of ‘Identity Confusion’ as well as give birth to a constant conflict in your mind. At this stage of life, you are presented with a number of new concepts and processes of life. With a thousand doubts that you have uncleared in your head, you might seem to be excessively vulnerable, moody, self-conscious and argumentative. Even though being alone can give you your personal space and freedom, it might end up as a feeling of loneliness, if it is thrusted upon you,time and again.
At this highly delicate point, if any unfavourable incident takes place in your life, it could lead to dangerous consequences. Firstly, you are in a conflicted state of mind. Secondly, you are fearful to a number of unknown stimuli. Thirdly and most importantly, you don’t have anybody to share your thoughts with. The results of such situations could be so harmful that it could leave you with almost no hope. Despite so many options that you could avail to help yourself, you might not be in a state to adopt them. It could be a case of betrayal, heartbreak, sexual assault, harassment, rape, substance abuse, threatening, ragging/eve-teasing, cyber crimes, domestic violence etc. You might be subjected to unbearable pain, going through sleepless nights, frequent anxiety attacks. Naturally, your thought process might be disturbed for a while, which if continued for a long time, might even get distorted. This unpleasant feeling and uttermost emotional pain is termed as ‘Psychalgia’. You might not be able to get over it all by your own and continue to feel like this on a daily basis, still choose to ‘Suffer in Silence’ fearing the societal judgement and discrimination. The fact that inspite of all the awareness programmes, mental health is still stigmatised. It is very shocking how a ‘Global Health Problem’ can be considered as a ‘Global Taboo’.
Nevertheless, as humans, over a period of time, we develop certain strategies that unconsciously protects us from anxiety arising from such unacceptable or potentially harmful stimuli. Freud, the father of Psychoanalysis termed these strategies as ‘Defense Mechanisms’. Many of you who are actively into various art forms, would have started getting engrossed into it after such an incident took place in your life. You might not have realised that you are basically channelising your pain or anger through a more socially acceptable behaviour. This defense mechanism is called ‘Sublimation’. Freud’s idea of sublimation originated while he was reading the story of a man who tortured animals as a child and later went on to become a surgeon. Many of you might not have even realised how you learnt to sublimate your feelings, since it operates at a subconscious level.
As a child, who was never interested in sports, I was automatically driven towards various art forms. I took a greater interest in calligraphy, sketching, dancing, music, theatre, cinema, books. I started maintaining a daily journals. I began pouring my heart out in my poems, essays, stories and letters. The pages of my diary cried harder than me and I smiled brighter on the stage.
Sublimated Behaviour can give birth to a masterpiece, as our involuntary courage has the capability to evoke a million response. The most chaotic and painful feelings can reproduce the most vibrant artpiece. Hence, Art is nothing but a product of this unimaginably creative, thoughtful, disturbed state of mind. It is a human tendency to wish for something we have not been given. An alternate childhood could have been better, but this one turned out to be a blessing. It brought out the artist in me. It brought out the ‘Real’ me. After all, the ‘Real’ sounds way more artistic than the ‘Ideal’.
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