Listening Helps

Did you ever try helping out your friend who was suffering from mental illness?

It’s time for a story:

Lara was 18 years old when she was pursuing her graduation from a recognized institution. In the beginning, everything was going well. She was amiable, was proactive in classes, participated in every college event, in short – she was enjoying her life but as the days passed by she started feeling uncomfortable, was unable to focus, started isolating herself, she became quiet.

She had changes in her behavior. When she tried to explain about the random weird thoughts that struck her mind to one of her fellow students they did not take it seriously, they thought she was pretending to be unwell and they started judging her, labeled her as “crazy”, “mad” and “insane”, they were annoyed by her behavior and started spreading rumors about black magic that has been performed on her and few of them even assumed that there was a devil residing in her body and this made her feel guilty and shameful.

After a few months, none of them showed much interest in talking to her as they took her behavior for granted. Nobody even tried to make an effort to know what was she experiencing or what she suffering from. As the days passed by, she was not regular to classes and subsequently discontinued her studies. Nobody knew what has happened to her.

Many students like Lara might be suffering from mental illness who needs someone to understand them, listen to them, and not judge them. They want society to accept them, respect them when they speak about their mental illness but the sad part is, people tend to come up with their own conclusions.

“Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say “my tooth is aching” than to say “ my heart is broken”. – C.S. Lewis

So here are the few tips to help your dear ones if they are suffering from mental illness.

You might have this question arising in your mind, 

How can I help?

I am not an expert to help her.

Well, let me tell you,

You can help them by “listening” to them

Yes, you read it right listening helps.

Listening is like a primary aid – taking care in the first place. Hear to a person who is in need of you.

“listening is healing, sometimes all that a person wants is some compassionate hearing, your ability to listen will be one of the greatest ways you can help others heal.” – Dr. Karishma Ahuja

Now, how is that possible?

So let me share my thoughts on this.

Identify:

If you sense that a person is dealing with some kind of mental illness, check whether there are any changes in their daily routine for a couple of days.

Observe their behavior.

For example:

• They might try to isolate themselves.
• They might be feeling low.
• They might be unable to concentrate.
•  They might be feeling depressed.

These are a few couple of changes that you might notice.

If you feel that there are changes in their mood, behavior, and daily activities try to initiate a conversation.

Do not leave them alone:

 When you sense there is some kind of mental illness that a person is dealing with, do not leave him alone. We can never anticipate what kind of thoughts might be running in that particular person’s mind. Make them realize that you are there with her to support her

Initiate a conversation:

Ask them questions like:

• Is everything is ok?
• Is there anything that’s bothering him or her?
• Ask them whether they are comfortable in sharing their concerns with you.

Make them feel comfortable by telling them that you are there to support her and she can share about her personal concern with you at any time.

Try to deviate them from their own thoughts by cracking a joke or asking them to share their good memories with you, if they deny doing this you start sharing about the good memories that you earlier had. Tell her that she can trust you.

Listen to them with patience:

“Just by listening one can heal a patient but for listening one has to be patient. Be patient enough to listen to a patient and a patient will no longer be a patient just because you are patient.”- Sherwin

A person might feel difficult to talk about his mental health issues not because of what they are experiencing but because he lacks exact words to describe his issues. If a person is still trying to tell what he or she is suffering from, do not ignore it, rather listen with patience. Use phrases like:

 “I understand”

 “I am listening to you”.

 “thank you for trusting”

Also, maintain a positive body language.

Convince:

Try to convince them by asking questions like:

How about sharing this with your parents?

When asked your advice, try to tell them that it would better if they could share this with their parents.   

Ask them to consult a psychologist or a psychiatrist with the consent of their parents. give them the hope that they can recover if they consult an expert. 

Create awareness:

It’s necessary to create awareness among people about mental health issues. Every mother and father love their children and is ready to help them out but the only thing is they are not aware of these psychological illnesses. It might be a new word for them or for anybody who has not experienced this earlier so educate them about the importance of mental health. A person who is suffering from mental illness might be your neighbor, your daughter, or your friend.