What Is Your Anchor In Life?

How many times have you felt a loss of control in the advent of a new change your life brought in?

We are not new to the fact that life is often synonymous to uncertainty. From a distance the basic principles of life are the same for all of us making it ‘simple’, but when lived closely the complexities shine out. The enlightened always say- Life gets as hard as you make it. When you live it one day at a time, one moment at a time, holding on to some strong anchors in your life- you can manage just fine.

What they are really telling us is that life comes with a fair share of unforeseen situations and setbacks but our anchors show us the way to face them without losing control.

First of all, what is an anchor?

Merriam-Webster defines Anchor, technically, as a heavy object attached to a boat/ship by a rope/chain and that is thrown into the water to hold the boat/ship in place.

In general terms, Anchor is anything that provides strength and support. (to a boat, to you, me- same thing. Except it can take any form when it comes to our lives.)

Anchors can be both positive and negative, good and bad, healthy and unhealthy- call them what you want.

What are positive anchors?

Anchors that hold us in place when something terrible happens or when we are slipping into a toxic mindset like- ‘I’m beginning to feel that I can’t get back on my feet again’ or ‘everything seems to be going wrong in my life’. These valuable anchors remind us that where you stand is the right place to be at this moment. We will be guided in figuring out what the next right thing to do is in this period of confusion.

A couple things positive anchors will remind you:

I have done harder things. I can get through this one too.
Everything is ‘figureoutable’ (as Marie Forleo says)
I might be feeling confused and overwhelmed about life but I can start with what I have to do now. (Take a shower/walk your dog/ write the book/ talk to someone/pray.)
I am not alone. I have all these people to support me.

What are negative anchors?

These are what we tend to believe and stick by sometimes even though they are absolutely wrong. These negative anchors most commonly take the form of excuses we make or false beliefs about ourselves that we hide behind.

For example: I can’t do (something) because:

I’m not good enough
It’s not something she/he would do.
I’m too fat or too skinny.
I don’t have the time.

These are basically lies we could be holding on to. They are bad or unhealthy anchors because they are holding us down from exploring the better grounds. We stick ourselves in this place that is telling us – you can’t be something or go somewhere (better) because you are something ‘less’. Any belief implying that we are in any way flawed or incapable is inherently a lie.

Getting rid of these anchors requires us to put in the hard work and be intentional. It’s a long process and we have to be mindful of our thoughts to identify the positive and negative anchors we are chained to in our lives.

Why do we need anchors?

When a storm hits and a boat is standing all by itself at the shore, it wouldn’t take too long for it to drift in directions the storm takes it. It has no control and no hindsight of where it is going to end up when the storm is over. Or if it is even going to last until then.

Something similar happens to us people when we hit a rough patch. The loss of a loved one, losing a job, business going bad, end of a marriage or onset of a mental illness. These are just a few to name. In some cases there need not be a change as such to feel loss of control. Your life could be exhausting you or a relationship could be turning toxic by day, making you lose your way. Anxieties and depression are often known to chant lies inside one’s head and the feeling of ‘drifting away’ is more common for those that suffer with it. It is a scary, panic-inducing state of mind to be in.

Anchors come to our rescue right there. These are what hold us to the ground, reminding us that it’s just another storm and this shall pass too.

The concept of anchors is a widely discussed one in branches of psychology and spirituality. Anchors are known to be those that give our life a direction, helping us direct our energy towards the aspects in which we wish our life to prosper. Focusing our energy on these anchors not only gives us a path to follow and clarity amidst life’s chaos but also increases our patience towards life and we tend to get into a positive mindset naturally.

I believe it is imperative that we be aware of who or what are anchors are in our lives so that when a crisis hits again we know that there is something for us to hold on to until the storm passes by.

7 anchors in our life we can hang on to for support and strength whenever we need:

1. A routine.

Having a set routine everyday is often known to have maintained stability in people’s lives. That’s the main reason most old-age people now still have a routine. Routines bring a certain degree of order in our lives and generations before us knew it. However, the concept of a healthy routine has lost popularity in the recent decades but people are beginning to understand how it contributes to their overall well-being.

2. Faith

God, higher power, the universe- call it whatever you want, it is believed to have helped so many people from slipping into darkness. Faith is perceived as a bright light, glowing physical form or just something bigger than all of us that keep us grounded and gives us the strength to fight pain, hurt or anything terrible. Though not all believe in it, those who do are known to have benefitted from this form of anchor too.

3. A person in our life.

There is always someone we can call in the middle of the night, show up at their door step or just lean on when trouble is marching our way. This could be a best friend, partner, that favourite aunt we can share anything with or even a parent. Just sharing things with them or listening to what they have to say can be a heap of help for us. They hold us from flying away with our thoughts and often times they already know what might cheer us up.

4. Family

Family is an anchor we can always turn to because they are always there. However some might have issues beginning right from home and in that case leaning towards any of the other six anchors in advisable.

5. A community.

A group of people we share our days with or maybe meet once a week. This could be a big or just a small tribe of ours we share a purpose or interests with, and like hanging out together. Community bonds are known to be very strong because the reasons with which these bonds are formed often hold a high priority in each of their lives, making them support one another when it comes to other aspects too.

6. Beliefs we have about our self.

Today might be a bad day but there are days when we can see it all clearly- who we are and what are our intentions. On good days we might know yourself as someone who never gives up but on one bad day we are telling our self that results aren’t showing already so we should give up. Here’s what can be done. Whenever we see a clear picture of who we are, we have to write that down and read it out aloud when we begin to believe anything otherwise. It reminds us that it is just a bad day and nothing more.

7. Lessons our experiences taught us.

Experiences, bad or good, teach us something always. Sometimes these lessons that we learnt and decided to remember could be just what we need to hold on right now.

Even if we don’t have all of these anchors in our life, there is at least one we can stick to and build the others over time. It is always good to have a stable entity when everything else is always at a risk of changing. The change could be for better or not, either way we will have something to keep us grounded.