“Back in school, I always had this constant feeling that I was overrated as a student, and like all the people were just in an illusion that I was a merit student. I was chosen as deputy head girl and head girl for two consecutive years, I would score exceptionally well in all my subjects and was a very good performer in every activity I took up. I was every teacher’s pet and was among the list of best students in the entire school. I was the student that every parent and teacher would want their children to be! I was very happy and even more grateful for everything that I got and achieved, but deep down I had a voice in me telling that I didn’t deserve all this and I got it only by fluke! My schooling was one of the most memorable and enjoyable experiences yet there was this small loophole in it completely from my side!
It was in my head constantly and kept eating me through the years that I was at school. Each time I achieved something or got praised for, my mind would only tell me that what I got was just because I was lucky. My brain was on full-time duty to remind me that everyone saw me as a good student because the actual good ones were not performing sufficiently well and that when they get back to form, I will be conveniently forgotten by everyone! I felt like everyone who thought I was good was dumb to believe so and like it was only a matter of time before they found out that I did not deserve all the praise and attention I got for everything!
Well, it was not like I was dejected and sad because of all these thoughts I had in my mind. Anyone who interacted with me at any given point wouldn’t have the slightest thought that this banter was on constantly in my head! I was and am a very happy and outgoing person by nature. But that one phase of my life made it difficult for me to believe that I was capable of doing anything in my life though it did not completely stop me doing anything I wanted to. It just made the process of making every decision very exhausting.
Over time, I overcame these feelings and filled myself up with positivity and determination and to date, I continue to do well for myself! “
Have you ever identified yourself in such a situation!?
If you did, then you need to know that you are not alone and this happens to every other person at least once in their entire lifetime!
I never expressed these thoughts to anyone because I thought nobody would understand and also because I obviously didn’t want anyone to know I felt that way about myself.
I thought it happened only to me until recently when I read about this thing called Imposter Syndrome. It was surprising to find out that it is a very common thought pattern and many people experience this quite often especially during testing times! It is very commonly seen in women.
DEFINING IMPOSTER SYNDROME:
So such feelings of not internalizing your achievements, not giving yourself enough credit for what you did or feeling like all that you have is because you are lucky and not because you earned it constitute this phenomenon called Imposter Syndrome.
In this condition, people see themselves as a fraud. They are basically low on self-esteem and cannot attribute their success to their hard work but trace it to the bad performance of everyone else!
Though it is not an identified psychiatric condition, it is one of the very common mental health concerns that people face. It could also indicate the onset of problems like anxiety disorders or even depression!
REASONS:
There could be so many reasons as to why a person looks at themselves as not worthy enough but according to me, the basis for all those reasons is one thing that is called cognitive distortion!
A cognitive distortion is a situation where our mind works to make us believe all our negative thoughts and convince us that it is the reality.
So essentially, imposter syndrome is a thought trap where we are continuously thinking that we are not rightful owners of all that we have in our lives.
Honestly, to some extent imposter syndrome could push us to work harder to reach our goals. It is necessary to have thoughts that keep us grounded and modest and it could be this. Therefore, in little amounts, the feeling of not being good enough is beneficial in some ways.
EFFECTS OF IMPOSTER SYNDROME:
The problem arises when these thoughts become uncontrollable and go overboard.
It could hamper our personal or professional growth and affect us a lot mentally. It could become a big hurdle to overcome and destroy our self-esteem.
It could meddle with our courage negatively and prevent us from exploring newer opportunities. In the long-run, it could force us to even quit what we are doing because of feeling like you are wrongly placed.
And the list of what all it could do can just go on endlessly. However, we want to find a way to deal with this shrew that demolishes our mental peace and after quite some reading here and there, I have found a few ways that could prove these thoughts wrong. Here are a few:
TIPS TO DEAL WITH IMPOSTER SYNDROME:
- When a person suffers from imposturous feelings, they tend to define success and failure in a way that makes them believe that they are wrong. For example, they would see success as an accident and failure as a result of being bad at work or because it was their fault that things went wrong. Instead, one could interpret them as the other way round! They could try and find facts that prove that they became successful because they worked hard and failed only because of bad luck and not because they were faulty! Trying to separate facts to prove the negative feelings wrong is certainly an effective way to deal with this situation.
- While dealing with these feelings, we might always end up beating ourselves up about not being good enough at what we are doing. It is important to stop comparing ourselves with the rest of others and acknowledge the fact that you are unique. It would be really helpful to accept that when you are a part of a group like your workplace, there will always be a range of skill levels and that each of them make a difference in their own way! You have been put in your place for a reason and there’s no point in comparing yourself to anything or anyone else.
- Whenever you feel low thinking that you are bad at what you are doing…ask for feedback from people around you. Ask them if you are good enough or if you need to work towards getting better at something. This would act as an assurance and provide evidence to your mere thoughts.
- Make it practice to record all your positive feedbacks in a particular place and keep going back to it once in a while. It would make you realize that what you have is not by fluke and that you have earned every bit of it by yourself. People could just see your work and make move and yet if they have taken time out to appreciate you for something, then probably there’s something worth that in you. Let that not go in vain by panicking about negative stuff! This practice could instantly boost your morale and inspire you to excel at a niche!
- Finally, ask yourself one question when the feeling of being an imposter keeps coming back to you. Ask “if I were not worthy enough of being where I am and if I am scared that other people may find out, why haven’t they found out about my incapability in so much time? What is taking them so long? ” Logically, not all people around you could be equally oblivious like you think they are. If you are not fit to be in your place, one or the other person would have noticed it by now and if none of them have, then your thoughts are probably false!
The knowledge of these thought patterns and ways to deal with them is very helpful because the next time you see yourself worrying too much about these things, you can just take a moment to challenge these thoughts!
These ways have helped me challenge my thoughts of self-doubt and I hope they help you out too!
Thank you very much for reading through this.
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