Changing Mindset – From 'Have To' to 'Get To'

One of the most liberating thought that I happen to ask myself very often is “do I have to do this?”

Ever since we were kids, there were a humongous list of “have to” habits or choices that were enforced upon us. Some were reasoned out; others were justified to nourish qualities like obedience and respect. We grew up, adapting to some of them and discarding the one’s that didn’t suit us. Cultivating habits and self-discipline has been basic yet one of the most fundamental aspect of our lives. The habits we imbibe and develop shape us as individuals and dictate our quality of life. A lot of ongoing research, studies, and theories are looking into the scientific as well as psychological approaches to foster habits. Even after knowing the role habits play in our lives, why do we hesitate towards change? We all can very easily make a list of adjustments that are crucial for us, but what matters is how many of us can actually succeed to implement those changes into our lives.

When there is a “have to” aspect added to any habit and tasks, it indirectly comes forward to us as compulsion. It sometimes feels as if it is very strongly imposed upon us.

Instead if we discard the have to aspect of it and replace it with “Get to mindset” we might not only be consistent but choose to indulge voluntary into the practice with motivation.

Let’s take an example to understand this better. I’m sure all of us at some point of their lives have struggled with maintaining a routine, even after repeated affirmations. We keep telling ourselves that we have to wake up early, we have to go to work, we have to study etc. Even if we manage to break through, lack of persistence will get it all back to square one.

Instead if we affirm saying “I get to wake up early because then I can have some time to spend for myself and not rush throughout the date.

“I get to go to works because I can challenge myself and learn new things every day.
You see how just a small shift makes so much of a difference. When we tell ourselves that we get to do things because they will help us grow as a person, we automatically tend to be more in harmony with nurturing habits. In this way, we are calmer without rushing and crowding ourselves with unrealistic expectations. The “get to” aspect also encourages us to practice free will. Studies have shown that people who believe in free will are more likely to have positive outcomes- such as happiness, academic success, and better work performance.

Free will is a skill. Free will being that one can clearly make decisions that support our goals and the values we want to embody. To make these choices, we need to be present in the moment, be mindful.

“Train our mind to be participant in our own lives.” As individuals, we all have choices to make life work for us, not against us. Conscious willingness will guide us all to the wisdom that lies in the simplest of things.