Understanding Parenting Styles And Values

From the beginning of a child’s life, the parents are their real models. The parents are the one who illustrating what their child is aiming for. The parent is showing what it means to be a human being. And as the child grows older, what it means to be a particular gender, or race, or ethnicity, or class.

The parents are the first and most important teachers of life who teaches us how to face and navigate the world, how to manage one’s feelings and emotions, how to treat others either they are younger or older, the values, morals, attitude toward everything- Outlooks on life.

When I say model, it means parent plays a major role in modelling their child’s life. Because children will sometimes listen to what their parents say and other times appear to be listening, but they will pay the most attention to what their parents do.

According to the researchers, there are four types of parenting styles. Let take a look at each of them and the impact of a child.

1.) Authoritarian Parenting: In this parenting style, parents expect their children to follow the strict rule established by the parents. If children fail to follow result will be punishment. Parents are not very responsive to their children. They expect their children not to make any error. Yet they provide very little direction about what their children should do or avoid in the future. These kinds of parents are status-oriented and expect their children should obey without any question.

Children of Authoritarian parents may become aggressive. They could not think about how things could be a better way. Rather than they focus on anger and become a good liar to avoid punishment. In a good Play or Preschool counsellors are available to tell the parents and children both.

2.) Authoritative Parenting: There is a little bit of difference between Authoritarian and Authoritative parenting. Like Authoritarian parenting, parents established guidelines and rules for their children but tell them reasons also. That kind of parent is responsive and willing to listen to their children. And the most important thing is this if they expect lots of from their children than they give support and give values to feedback. When children make a mistake and fail to meet any expectation these parents are more nurturing and forgiving.

These help children to develop self-confidence, self-control, and self-regulation.

3.) Permissive Parenting: In this type of parenting parent treat as a friend rather than parents. They communicate with children and expect less. They set rules to follow but not enforce them. They are forgiving and supportive.

4.) Uninvolved Parenting: The fourth type of parenting is uninvolved or neglectful parenting. In this parenting, three characteristics are involved like few demands, low responsiveness, and very little communication. Parents like this fulfil all the needs of their children but not involve deeply in their life. That kind of parent has to lack knowledge of parenting. Children may note received much guidance and knowledge about the wrong and right decision about life.

Indeed, every parent should not be fit any single parenting style. With dedication and commitment, you can be a good parent. You need to maintain a positive and healthy relationship with your child. The result of Authoritative parenting styles generates to result in children who are happy, capable, and successful.

Concerning the values of parenting, Shree Swami Narayan Gurukul International School pointed out 10 things in their article that must be avoided by parents:

1. Always living in the past– Parents whose minds are always dwelling in the past cannot communicate with their children. Children easily forget their past and always live in the present; hence they are always happy. We always recollect the incidents and happenings of the past and keep on carrying the burden of bad experiences faced in the past. So, when children try to talk to us, we are not in a condition to listen to them and understand them. Hence, we must always try to live in the present.

2. Negative talk & approach- Negative statements like, ‘You do not know anything’, ‘you are useless’, hurt children tremendously. Physical injuries get healed, but the hurt caused on one’s mind is not easily healed. So we should be always positive in our approach and speech while talking to children. Our talk should be such that it should encourage children.

3. Not accepting our mistakes in front of children- Accepting our mistakes reduces the stress on our mind. Children develop respect for us. Since children try to impersonate their parents, they too learn to accept their mistakes honestly. When we hide our mistakes, we become tense. Children realise all our mistakes. So, when we don’t accept our mistakes, they feel, ‘My mother and father do not accept their mistakes, then why should I?’ This develops a subtle rift between the children and parents.

4. Constantly trying to find faults with the children- If we constantly try to find faults with our children we will always remain tense. Instead, we should try to notice their good qualities and acknowledge them. As a result, children too realise and accept their personality defects as time passes and try to eradicate them. If we look at the virtues of our children instead of finding faults with them, we shall always remain in a state of bliss.

5. Preserving one’s image while talking to children- Many parents are careful to preserve their image concerning their position in society even while talking to their children. Parents will never be able to communicate efficiently with their children if they have pride in their mind about the position they occupy in society. In such a situation, parents are under stress and children disregard them. Parents should behave naturally with their children forgetting their career and their position in society. Only then will they be able to remain happy and bring up their children efficiently.

6. Speaking authoritatively- Children do not like it when their parents speak with them authoritatively. Instead of speaking with authority, we should talk lovingly with them. We do not feel like accepting something that is told authoritatively. Thus we should remember that talking authoritatively results in stress, whereas talking lovingly results in bliss.

7. Forgetting that children too have Divine principle in them- While communicating with children we must always remember that every child has Divine Principle in him. Respect the Divine Principle in them while speaking to them. So, while speaking to children, do not think that you are talking to a person; instead, think that you are speaking to the Divine principle. This will help in removing the stress and will help you in experiencing bliss.

9. Not explaining properly- Everything must be explained to children properly. While speaking to children we must go down to their level; only then, will the child respect us and listen to us. Thus, if the child is in the 1st standard, then the parent should communicate with him at that level. However, because of ego, parents are reluctant to go down to the level of the children while speaking to them and thus, children fail to respect and listen to them. This develops stress in their minds. Parents must understand that they can minimize their stress if they communicate with children by going down to their level

10. No communication with children – No one is available to listen to the problems faced by the children. Parents are busy with their work, whereas teachers are only concerned about completing their syllabus. As a result, children are mentally confused. They lose respect and faith in their parents. Parents are stressed because children do not listen to them. Casual talk brings them together. So, parents must take out time to sit and talk casually with their children for at least 15 minutes daily. This will help in minimizing stress and will result in happiness.

So, Is it difficult to be a perfect parent?

The great news, though, is that you don’t need to be perfect to be a perfect parent. Having a few blemishes, a few shortcomings, a few battles are greatly important. It enables your youngster to approve of having those herself. Interestingly, your youngster is mimicking somebody who faces their issues, who doesn’t run from the real world, who attempts all problems of their life as well as improves. The will be the best and most significant way you give your children the mental fortitude to confront life and the apparatuses to defeat hindrances and difficulties.

It’s critical to have grappled with your parenting before you have children, so you aren’t utilizing them in a steady organized intermediary fight as you work out or replay your folks’ inadequacies (truly, they all have deficiencies and they all commit errors). Your youngster will hear your voice in his mind as long as he can remember. You need to choose whether you need that to be a condemning voice that continually reminds him he’s sufficiently bad, or acknowledge how he is or an adoring and empowering voice that continually reminds him he is a decent individual, deserving of affection.

Parenting matters more in the development of your kid. From the asking of your kid to turn a grown-up even an entire life impacts by how guardians grow up their children. It guarantees your passionate style ought to be sound, Supportive and passionate because how you interface with your kid will impact her or his rest of life.

Rubina Khatun Member since June 15, 2020

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