Embracing Flaws

Flaw –  an expression so cynical and gloomy that it makes our heads turn. A flaw can be demarcated more elaborately as an unwanted quality in a person. But the important question is, who decides that the other person has a flaw? What might seem unappealing to others might be someone’s way of life! After all, one person’s meat is another person’s poison and vice versa. A flaw ‘appears’ when we don’t seem to be ‘fitting in’ with our surroundings. Again, who decides where and with whom we are going to fit in?

Jealousy, oblivion, ignorance, imperfections, faults, weaknesses, tearing, teasing, defect, so many names and forms. We try to bridge in the rifts, but on most occasions it is best to just let them be. Somethings, time can heal or at least help us overlook.

We spend years in finding and filling up the openings, but they crack up habitually. Isn’t better that we move on to find happiness in our own self? Let go of certain aspects instead of rearticulating your entire being and your whole life.

No one is weak or strong. We all come here with our own elements which are challenged by societal norms. What we forget time and again is that there are several shortcomings in selling perfection. We forget that we don’t need perfection and that flaws are beautiful. 

Perfection is just a fable

If you linger around a perfect person for long enough, you’ll soon realize they are not as perfect as they first seemed. Just like we do, they also have quirks and flaws. Learning that someone we applaud or revere has flaws can often be a gratifying experience. A mutual vulnerability is even more powerful because it allows us not to feel alone in the universe.  It can also offer hope to someone who struggles with their shortcomings. It helps them to realize that they can accept their failures and lead rewarding and positive lives.

We are incapable to relate

Individuals can often be seen and viewed as ‘others’ who are very attractive or productive. This is also true of individuals we are held up by as ‘saints’. Although we may truly respect them, on a human level we have difficulty relating to their ‘perfection.’

Excellence is not for sale

We might think that we can buy our way into perfection. What we don’t admit is that we are actually looking for human connections. Once we come to terms with that we will realize that there is nothing more natural than the imperfect and beautiful common experience that we human beings share with each other.

 Why are flaws fine?

Although harmony is one dimension of beauty, individuality is also an essential factor. Our failures are not just unwanted nuisances; they are essential parts of our reality. We all have own blend of weaknesses and challenges. This brings out the uniqueness in all of us.

Here are a few flaws which spice up our character and life.

Bodily flaws

More than others, we ourselves find fault in our nose, forehead, teeth, jaw line, eyes, weight and complexion. One of the major drawbacks of this era of civilization and social media is that it is crammed with pictures of the so-called pretty and perfect faces, and thus points out that ‘we’ do not look like ‘them’. The list is ever increasing and so are our insecurities. Our physical features that are not approved by so-called social standards are unique, and not a flaw. Embracing yourself makes all the difference. We should resist the temptation to compare ourselves with others all the time.

Psychological scars

We often need only one traumatic incident to change our perspective towards life. Once you are psychologically scarred, you might find it tough to believe or adore someone. You may not feel safe for yourself or your loved ones for a certain period of time. At times, we try to hide these scars but cleansing and healing also occurs when we can open them to illumination softly. Once we invite others into our most insecure areas, some of the strongest human connections and ties are formed. Open to the idea of conceding the pain. If needed, take the help of a professional therapist to clear your clogged thoughts.

Temperament flaws

These are character defects which can be as pleasant as shyness or as detrimental as regular envying. To be honest, there is not much allure to be discovered telling lies, cheating, or displaying egotistical behaviour. The immediate reaction is to be judgemental if we see people involved in such actions. However, if we are honest to ourselves, we know that under the appropriate circumstances, we also have the ability to do exact same thing. The magic here is in understanding that we can connect with the suffering and action of another, at least in part.

If you experience finding flaws in others often, here are a few approaches that may help you out:

• Don’t function on your instant feelings. It’s hard but learn to give it a try.
• Express your concerns in an easy-going manner.
• Appreciate yourself as well as others.
• Attempt to heal the wounds of your past.
• Have faith in your partner and people around you, such as your close circle of friends.
• Most importantly, trust yourself.

To all intents and purposes, release your thoughts and embrace your flaws.